The Failing Ground 

This post is by Jen Shultz.

Exercise can seem like a chore, especially if it is daunting. I know this first hand because I have looked at it that way for quite some time now. It was not always that way. From a very young age, I was actively involved in team sports. We were a family who spent a lot of time outdoors. My friends and I gathered to do things in our free time that, to others, might look like as exercise. For me, it was just fun. I created all of those habits with my own children as well. Activity was a generational gift in our family. 

Not long after I fell ill, I had to give up many of these activities that were the foundation of so many things in my life- from friendships to familial bonding. I diligently looked for hobbies that would keep me active, but were gentler on my body. Instead of a pick up game of basketball, I got my first set of golf clubs. Gone were my days of belly flopping and cannonballing at the lake with my kids. To compensate, I purchased a good sun hat and a fishing pole. As my illness progressed, my physical health deteriorated. While the months and years passed, my ability to be active dwindled and my feeling of discouragement gained momentum. I failed at a daily movement routine. I failed when I tried new things. I failed, regularly.

It wasn’t fun, friend. For most of my young life, new things that I tried were easy to master. I was not used to things not coming easy. I was not used to failing. It rocked my entire perception of who I was as a person. I was no longer capable. I was no longer successful. Just like that, I was a failure. Sounds pretty grim, doesn’t it? Honestly, it was. It was a hard realization that to be good at something, I was going to have to work harder than I ever have. BUT, it also was an awakening. I was weak. I could not look at my mission field as I had in the past. I had to find new avenues to be active and new avenues for sowing seeds. I had to find a way to try and mitigate the physical loss I was experiencing. I had to find joy in the failure… and just like that, God met me right where I was. 

I have been failing for almost two decades now and when I tell you I am getting really good at it, I say it a bit tongue in cheek. I never wanted to be a success at failing, but here I am. I try new things often. I have found that there are usually ways to adjust or accommodate many of the movement activities I find joy in these days. I have also discovered that there are some things that are just out of my reach. I have also found so much grace and humility in myself and those around me. Those two things are necessary as I learn what finding joy in failure looks like. It gives others the space to not be perfect. It gives a space for tenacity, trial, and error. It creates opportunity for God’s strength to be seen. And would you believe it if I told you, friend, that right there in my failing ground I found my mission field? Right there I am finding joy fulfilling the call God has placed on this new focus. With every failure, a new opportunity arises. He uses it all! 

Jen is a small town, Oklahoma girl married to a superhero. Together, they are raising a family on second chances, shiplap, and a shoestring. She is a firm believer in grace, organization, and efficiency. She finds great satisfaction in taking broken items and giving them new life, likely because that is exactly what God did for her. She over uses the word shine, exclamation points, and emojis. Jen calls her children her greatest accomplishments. A natural born encourager and armchair warrior, she is learning to redefine her mission field and make the most of each day she is given. She has recently been promoted from breast cancer warrior to breast cancer survivor. She’s chronically ill and chronically positive—not necessarily in that order. She is learning to practice perseverance over perfection and longs for the day she gets to see her grandparents and Jesus’ face. Until then, she is just looking for Grace in the Grind.

Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash